Wednesday 2 February 2011

Protests, a dog and Andy Gray

So this week, we've discovered football presenter's are sexist and Egypt don't like their Government...these 2 stories have dominated the front and back pages, but what is new?!


Does any country particularly like their Government? The answer to that is clearly "No!". So why are the Egyptians protesting? I honestly haven't read a newspaper or watched the news so I have no idea. I'm guessing they don't like their Prime Minister for a reason...but how much worse can he be than Boris Johnson, the man who can turn entire cities against himself in one sentence. All I do know is that in every major protest in the past 3 years, one dog has got involved. It's name, Kanellos, dubbed the "Greek Dog Of Protest". I think the protesters in this country should look up to Kanellos! Now a protest veteran, there have been no reports of the dog throwing fire extinguishers off of a roof or swinging around on the London Cenotaph. Arguably, as a dog this would be an achievement in itself and would probably be applauded rather than cause distress, but this is beside the point. This brings me smoothly onto my final summary that I think all future protests should be made up entirely of dogs. We would have no broken windows, no falling fire extinguishers and no horse-like royalty being poked with sticks. Protests would be peaceful. However, we would have to hope that with so many dogs around they don't all start having sex with one another, as they are normally so horny that a table leg would do!




Talking of horny, Andy Gray and the other guy from Sky Sports have been sacked due to off air comments about lineswoman Sian Massey probably not understanding the offside rule and making jokey sexual comments to Charlotte Jackson, pictured left (clearly a strong believer in women being equal and not looked upon as inferior pieces of sexy flesh). Do the majority of men feel they know more about football than their wives or girlfriends? Of course they do. So why the uproar? Well, in the politically correct world we live in today, where we have to call a blackboard a chalkboard due to the potentially racial connotations, no-one is allowed an opinion which is in any way slightly controversial. If we did a poll of the whole of the UK, asking every person to explain the offside rule, I guarantee that more men will be correct than women! Does this statement make me sexist? I don't think so, but some people do. Luckily I'm unemployed so can't be sacked for having this opinion. Having seen many football games myself, I do believe that the majority of officials do not understand the offside rule, so this whole argument is irrelevant anyway.





By Jon Shed with 1 comment

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