Sunday, 13 March 2011

2012, Professor Brian Cox and Talentless Musicians

With the recent influx of natural disasters around the globe, many people are questioning if this is the beginning of the end of the world.  Is there any point in me writing this blog when the odds of anyone but myself reading it are slimmer than one of Naomi Campbell's legs.

For those who have not heard, the Earth is due to end on the 21st December 2012, but it's not all bad news, think of all the money you can save on Christmas Presents. With the world ending 4 days before an old fat paedophile, dressed in a fluffy red outfit Lady Gaga wouldn't be seen dead in, climbs down your chimney, it's the perfect opportunity to save the money you would've spent on presents and spunk it all on a first class trip to Amsterdam and a classy prostitute! Of course, how legitimate is the prediction that the world will end? Well what I have heard is that the Mayan's, an ancient Colombian civilization of expert Astronomers, wrote a series of predictions and prophecies about the future according to their knowledge of planets and the night sky. The Mayans never actually predicted the end of the world in 2012, it is the end of their so called 'Long Count Calender' which lasted 5,126 years. People are reading into this that because the calender is ending, the world will end. My calender has ended on 31st December every year of my life but I'm still here and fully expect to still be here on 22nd December 2012 and if we are not then at least no one will be here to say "I told you so". The deciding factor in all this for me is that I have not yet heard Sir Patrick Moore mention the fact that we will all die in 2012 and he is not only an expert astronomer, but he also has a monocle, which makes him twice as intelligent as the Mayans!

Talking of intelligent people, Professor Brian Cox, the only scientist any women have ever found attractive, is back on our TV screens tonight (in the UK) with his new series The Wonders of the Universe! With more brain cells than the entire cast of The Only Way Is Essex put together, he effortlessly explains why everything we see exists with an enthusiasm not seen since Eddie the Eagle ski jumped to stardom at the 1988 Olympic Games. As a guest on Something For The Weekend this morning he explained that the recent Earthquakes and Tsunamis are not the beginning of the end of our planet, but a sign that the Earth is very much alive and purely an unfortunate side effect we have to live with in exchange for it being a habitable environment. So as my thoughts are with all the people recently affected by these natural tragedies, I am at least comforted by the fact that this planet will remain for many years yet.

From the talented, to the untalented. I was today made aware of one of the worst songs to grace my ears since Justin Bieber's 'Never say Never', which incidentally says the word 'never' 22 times, the lying bellend! Here is the aforementioned song by Rebecca Black and named Friday. It is a song with more auto tune evident than Black Eyed Peas and with its lyrics seemingly taken straight from a preschool lesson on the days of the week. If this song makes it into the charts, I will perhaps rethink whether I believe this world should end soon or not!

By Jon Shed with 7 comments


Couldn't agree more about the song. So bad haha. Interesting read btw!

Cheers Tieran. Just had a quick glance at your blog and seems interesting. I'll have a read later when I get a minute.

Come 22nd December 2012, I shall be laughing it up....

haha from the talented to the untalented -> justin bieber xD

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Ugh dont even talk about Bieber. Followed!

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