National Cleavage Day

Today, whilst busy redesigning this blog with more alterations than Jordan has had boob jobs, I was reliably informed that it is National Cleavage Day. Since that moment, I have spent a good few hours 'researching' the topic of this blog, which will of course be cleavage - it's a tough job, but somebody has to do it! I don't want to turn this into a sexist, chauvanistic blog focussing purely on the female form, however this could prove impossible so I apologise in advance!

Before I make your trousers bulge and your eyeballs orgasm with a plethora of pictures, I will provide a brief history of National Cleavage Day:
It was started by Wonderbra in 2002.

Right, now we've got the boring stuff out of the way, on with the pictures. I did ask for nominations on Twitter for #nationalcleavageday Best Cleavage Award, however my 14 followers failed to muster a single vote, so it's all down to me!

ACTOL National Cleavage Day Awards - Top 5

In 5th place, with a whopping 0 votes, Salma Hayek:

With bigger fun-bags than a children's playcentre, Salma Hayek weighs in with 36-C's.

Verdict: Cuddly

In 4th place, with a staggering 0 votes, Halle Berry:

With hooters the size of the Great Wall of China, Halle Berry also packs a pair of 36-C's.

Verdict: Motorboatable

In 3rd place, with a stonking 0 votes, Scarlett Johannson:

With the equivalent of the Himalayan mountain range on her chest, Scarlett brings a duo of 34-DD's to the party.

Verdict: Pillows

In a close 2nd place, with an exceptional 0 votes, Holly Willoughbooby:

With a nickname of Holly Willoughbooby, who could stop her getting in the top 2. With boobs big enough to have their own gravitational field, Holly bounces in with 34-B's and in the words of Keith Lemon -

Verdict: Smash her back doors in

So the winner, in 1st place, with the only vote of the competition (from me), it's Katy Perry:

Wow. Just wow. In the hands of Russell Brand, Katy is still wearing less than Tom Daley and we all love her for it (apart from her 'Mom' who is said to be disgusted). Sporting a pair of 32-D headlamps, Katy is a worthy winner and receives the 2011 ACTOL National Cleavage Day Award.

Verdict: She kissed a girl and I liked it

Notable absentees from the top 5 include, Christina Hendricks, Megan Fox, Keeley Hazell and, of course, Gemma Atkinson. Oh, and I nearly forgot, in order to not appear sexist, here are the male awards. Unfortunately, we only had one entry for this and I am too disturbed to look for more pictures of men in bras, so without further ado.

ACTOL National Cleavage Day Awards - For Men in Bras

The winner by default, in 1st place, Random Foreign Guy in Bra:

Sporting a multicoloured bra that Joseph from the Bible would be jealous of and sporting a hairy chest envied by gorillas worldwide, this man has somehow won an award. If you can find a more deserved winner of this category, please keep it to yourself as I do not want to be subjected to any more pictures of this kind.

Verdict: I'd rather set my oven to 200 degrees and cook my knob until golden brown, then serve it on a bed of romaine lettuce accompanied by a red wine reduction and let my dog eat it, than go within 100miles of this man.

So that is it for the awards this year. Remember, all comments are welcome and please Tweet and follow if you want to see more.

By Jon Shed with 13 comments